I had to see a doctor for the first time in 3 MONTHS! That was a nice feeling. I am just now being able to stand the smell of fast food and hand sanitizer without wanting to vomit almost instantly. But..I don't think i'll ever be able to recover from the smell of frozen dinners. There would always be one fool who came into the treatment room when I would be in there and heat up their Lean Cuisine or whatever nastiness they desired. Pair that smell up with being nauseous for 4 hours in a small room...I don't think I'll ever recover. I can smell that frozen over-processed goodness heating up a mile away! Anyway..
Going back to the cancer center was pretty bittersweet for me. Part of me wanted to dance because it was over...but most of me wanted to curl into a fetal position and cry. I pray that I will never have to deal with all that I've went through again. And I am so thankful that I am done. But my heart was broken for all the people that were still having to go through that hell EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Sweet old ladies that I saw 6 months ago while on their 2nd year of chemo were still in there getting poked, prodded, and filled up with poison. While my life moved on...things don't change there. The faces may change but there is always someone in there waiting for their day of freedom from that place. Here I am, complaining about school, my hair, the dog peeing in the house...and there are hundreds of people sitting in the cancer center wishing that school and their new puppy were the biggest problems in life. So I guess guilt is alot of what I feel. Somedays, I just get so grumpy I forget about how lucky I am. No, life isn't perfect after cancer. And I accept I'm going to be a happy giddy butterfly every single day. But good Lord Molly, you have a whole lot to be thankful for.
If any of you have too much free time, or are looking for volunteer opportunities. Call the Cancer center. If you love old people, you will find the sweetest ones there you will ever see. And I guarantee you can learn a lessons about life you didn't know.
Here is a hair update...I can fit it into baby pig tails...which may be ridiculous looking. But they make me happpppyyyy. Keep in mind..two months ago..I was almost bald. So this is a big thing for me! Sorry for the ridiculous cheese. I have issues taking serious pictures of myself.
Oh I graduate in 6 months.
Oh I get married in 10 months.
Life is good.
